Wig In A Box

I just recorded a song called Wig In A Box (embedded below, or click here). That’s me on drums, guitar, bass, piano, and vocals.

It’s a song from the off-Broadway musical (and subsequent movie), “Hedwig and the Angry Inch.”  The show is about Hedwig, a punk rocker who lives in Berlin.  Hedwig gets a (botched) sexchange operation in order to legally marry a U.S. solder and escape communist Berlin for the U.S.



On nights like this
when the world’s a bit amiss
and the lights go down
across the trailer park
I get down
I feel had
I feel on the verge of going mad
and then it’s time to punch the clock

I put on some make-up
and turn up the tape deck
and pull the wig down on my head
suddenly I’m Miss Midwest
Midnight Checkout Queen
until I head home
and put myself to bed

I look back on where I’m from
look at the woman I’ve become
and the strangest things
seem suddenly routine
I look up from my Vermouth on the rocks
a gift-wrapped wig still in the box
of towering velveteen.

I put on some make-up
and some LaVern Baker
and pull the wig down from the shelf
Suddenly I’m Miss Beehive 1963
Until I wake up
And turn back to myself

Some girls they have natural ease
they wear it any way they please
with their French flip curls
and perfumed magazines
Wear it up
Let it down
This is the best way that I’ve found
to be the best you’ve ever seen

I put on some make-up
and turn up the eight-track
I’m pulling the wig down from the shelf
Suddenly I’m Miss Farrah Fawcett
from TV
until I wake up
and turn back to myself

Shag, bi-level, bob
Dorothy Hammil do,
Sausage curls, chicken wings
It’s all because of you
With your blow dried, feather back,
Toni home wave, too
flip, fro, frizz, flop,
It’s all because of you
It’s all because of you
It’s all because of you

I put on some make-up
turn up the eight-track
I’m pulling the wig down from the shelf
Suddenly I’m this punk rock star
of stage and screen
and I ain’t never
I’m never turning back

4 Responses to “Wig In A Box”

  1. 1 Neal Z. September 2, 2008 at 9:44 pm


    What the hell ?!? … thought you quit on doing new recordings, glad I was proven wrong.

    The content here seems more serious but it has the same rough feeling FUCK had (which I ADORE … !) … hope you´re all right since FUCK was recorded in a bad mood as you stated.

    Phil – let us know when you´re down, ok ?!? …

    Anyways, I enjoyed this one again (damn, this was long !) and it made me think about the lyrics for a while, yes – you did it.

    The song (i.e. the quality) has a lot of beer and night shift in it, I´m sure you know what I´m blabbering on about … ;o)

    When can we expect some new funstuff material like a new metal version (“Angel in the Morning”) or something simply funny like the Juicy Fruit song again ?!?

    Not to let you think HEDWIG isn´t appreciated – she/he is ! – I was over all more glad to hear you playing music again.

    All the best from Germany – Neal Z. :o)

  2. 2 SmokenHerb September 3, 2008 at 11:36 pm

    I really liked it, it reminded me of the Iggy pop time period and sure brought back memories for me.

  3. 3 anon.fc.dot September 4, 2008 at 5:37 pm

    Dude, where the fuck have you been? The FC message board diaspora still obsess over you, but there aren’t quite so many of us these days.

  4. 4 Donal September 23, 2008 at 6:27 pm

    Wow. I saw Hedwig in Seattle years and years ago and loved it to death. Haven’t heard this song since then! Nice job.

    I also have to voice my regrets about the apparent demise of FC. Man, that was a real public service you provided. A few years back I was working a true shit-ass job at true shit-ass company and FC was used to GREAT affect to expose a corrupt management structure and ended up in a total management restructure. It was TEH AWASOME.

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