Dear Pud,

Whenever my girlfriend and I have a problem, I always end up adjusting to her needs — rather than her adjusting to mine.

Why is that?

18 years old
Fullerton, CA


As a male, you have no needs. More specifically, you have one single innate need: to provide for her, thus making her less needy.

2,000 years ago you could kill a giant buffalo and feed her for months. This would fulfill her needs (stuff) and yours (providing her stuff). Unfortunately, since the advent of the supermarket, the best you can do is provide for her emotionally — something men aren’t natually equipped to do.

Ergo, she will never be fulfilled.


4 Responses to “Needs”

  1. 1 ziffy womper December 5, 2006 at 8:23 pm

    you rule

  2. 2 Anonymous December 6, 2006 at 1:30 am

    may your dick isn’t big enough and that’s why she isn’t fullFILLED..

  3. 3 Anonymous December 8, 2006 at 11:20 pm

    This is awesome, awesome, awesome.

  4. 4 Le Renard December 23, 2006 at 7:48 pm

    yep, pretty much.

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