Baby talk

Dear Pud,

How do I get my boyfriend to quit using baby talk and baby nicknames? He refers to himself as “snuggly bear,” though I never reciprocate.

When he tells me “I love you” in a baby voice, it makes me feel like a pedophile. I’ve told him this but he still doesn’t stop –and it’s getting worse!

I hate that I cringe when he’s trying to display affection, but c’mon! What should I do?

Kentucky, USA

Dear Emily,

When was the last time you felt totally safe and protected?

For your boyfriend, it’s when he was a baby. We’re all taken care of as babies. At around 5, we start having to solve our own problems. We realize that we have to fend for ourselves sometimes, even if it just means getting our own toys out of the toy box.

And that was the last time your boyfriend felt totally safe and protected. Until you came along.

When adults feel safe and protected, and can let down all guard, it’s common for us to regress into the last point in our lives when we felt that way. You’ve clearly felt that way with another guy, probably not too long ago. You regress back a few years or so.

But your boyfriend goes way back to babyhood — it’s the last time he felt this way.

What you two have got, that’s new for him. Sure it’s annoying for you, but you are really special to him.

As for what to do, cherish it. To get him to stop instantly, just bring up a serious topic or something in the news.


3 Responses to “Baby talk”

  1. 1 Dan November 29, 2006 at 8:50 am

    Pud, I almost always agree with you and while its an intriguing thought, I disagree.

    That’s an older view of self development, and sounds a bit Freudian to me. How about this: It’s sometimes a bit uncomfortable to show our inner feelings, even to those we love. What if by using the baby talk, the boyfriend is showing what he feels in a non-threatening manner? It’s probably been a comfortable way to express himself in other relationships as well, reinforcing its use.

    Just some thoughts from a psyc major…


  2. 2 Emily November 29, 2006 at 6:13 pm

    While Dan raises a few points, I have to say that Always Insightful Pud read our romantic histories perfectly. I’ve had a few serious relationships, whereas I’m the first person he’s dated for more than a few weeks.

  3. 3 cynicalparalize December 13, 2006 at 3:14 pm

    emily its sumthing haoening to u
    same is hapening to me
    gosh i cant tolerate my boyfreind anymore

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