I’m scared all the time. Should I kill myself to obtain some much-needed relief?

Yes. But before you do, realize that the universe has been around for billions of years and will be around for billions more. As people on this speck of a rock called Earth, we’re only alive for what might as well be a nanosecond in time. So while killing yourself might chop a few years off your life, your lifespan is already insignificant, so there’s kind of no point in killing yourself — we’re already dead.

You’re born, you die. Try to do as much fun shit in the middle as you can.

4 Responses to “Timeline”

  1. 1 Anonymous July 21, 2006 at 5:09 pm

    Quit being such a pussy. Like my friend Van Wilder said dont take it so serious or you will never get out of life alive.

  2. 2 WineWhore July 24, 2006 at 7:42 pm

    Boy. All of a sudden I feel happy to have crab-claw-like feet and hands! Thanks Pud!

  3. 3 MindSmack! July 24, 2006 at 8:24 pm

    makes sense.

  4. 4 Anonymous May 24, 2007 at 7:45 pm

    Fight your way through life until you’re about 19, then start on the mind-numbing anxiety medication. You’ll find that you generally like life better without the medication, but you’ll use it sometimes to get through certain situations.

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